There seems to have been a huge baby boom lately. So I thought I’d share some of my favorite benefits from my own pregnancy. Here goes…
I don’t know if it’s people trying to stay home and save money, or if people…have done other things to keep warm than turning on the heat. Anyway, in 2023 a new wave of little Scousers and Scousettes will flood us.
For all you pregnant women out there, I know that those nine *cough* ten *cough* months can be pretty tough, so considering that, while you may not enjoy your favorite glass of wine on a Friday night or demolish a charcuterie board, here are the top 10 most important ones benefits of pregnancy.
You can eat whatever you want
Aside from the aforementioned charcuterie platter and swordfish (I know, what a pity, right?), all bets are off on the meal. Technically in an ideal world we could all eat whatever we want whenever we want without anyone judging us, but we don’t live in an ideal world and Aunt Margaret is always happy to get her salty 2p if you do at that point in your life fancy a KFC and a Maccies at 3am, your buddy best get his trainees and get it. Even your grandma will tell you to eat for two, and you’ll probably get at least 6 months of postpartum grace before she tells you you’re a bit chubby. A win is a win.
You always have a seat
Ok, this only works if you’re past the “Is she pregnant or just overindulged in Christmas?” stage, but to avoid confusion, a quick wince and tummy rub will have anyone and everyone on public transport scrambling to give you a seat. Enjoy like the queen you are. Once you have a crying child, I cannot guarantee that people will be that friendly and accommodating.
No scary work
Sure, your friend will usually ignore your pleas to help you move furniture until you end up having to call on the power of a thousand ancestors to move that 3-ton closet into its new feng shui position all by yourself. That’s a thing of the past though, even carrying a cup of tea from the kitchen to the couch is too much for your queen, let your pawn (fella) carry it for you.
Unlimited tea
Much like the Maccies 3am run, unlimited cups of tea (decaffeinated of course, which needs to stay under the 200mg per day caffeine limit) are yours, and you probably don’t have to prepare any of them.
All DIY are done
That new bathroom (you need it for bathing the baby), that paint job (the baby can’t go in a rundown house), that guest bedroom (so all the grandparents can stay and babysit), all the stuff you’ve subtly suggested to you that you get done, the house suddenly has a deadline and voila, it’s done. Ahh bliss.
You lose all physical inhibitions
Remember the time you were too anxious to call in for your swab because you were worried about how it would feel and whether the nurse would take care of your dentures. LOL, fun times, fun times. Now half the medical team at Women’s Hospital have their faces inches from your dentures, and your midwife loves poking around down there, so a swab, Hollywood wax, etc. seems like a walk in the park from now on — you can even an Only Fans open afterwards. Seriously, book your swabs, it could save your life.
No nap judgement
If you want to go ahead and take 5 naps a day, you can, and my god you will!
function over form
Gone are the days when you really have to make an effort to put together an outfit. Oh no girl you wear what you want, when you want. We live in a post-Rihanna pregnancy world, so if it’s burning and you want to wear a crop top, then go for it. If you want to live in oversized hoodies and crocs, do it. There are no rules. Maternity clothes are garbage anyway, so buy as little as possible, the better. Unless you like striped tops, then you’re in your element!
Mood swings are easily forgiven
One second you’re red with anger at your buddy leaving pubic hair in the shower and threatening to leave him as a single mom because he obviously doesn’t care about you, the next you’ve never loved anyone and then you have a total snotty red-eyed meltdown in the next commercial. It’s a fun ride and everyone just has to get on and accept it.
The baby is moving
Let’s end on a nice note. No matter how active your baby is, no matter how hard he or she kicks, no one else will ever know the magic of feeling your baby squirm and somersault inside you. It really is the best. And as the cheesy quotes say, your baby is the only one who knows how your heart sounds inside. So from the moment they are born you have a unique bond that absolutely no one can replicate. Enjoy.